Sibling Rivalry
‘ He’s again taken my eraser , papa . And my pencil box . And my entire set of colour pencils and crayons , and that too without even asking me . How irritating is that ? ‘ my eight year old barged towards me as I was just sitting down at the dining table . I could see she was very angry with her younger brother . But I had had a busy day at work, got back home when everyone was asleep and was just hoping to grab a quick bite and hit the bed . But now I had to solve a problem between two warring siblings . Very tired , and not fully aware of what I was saying I hugged her and said ‘ Sweetie , I can see there’s an India-Pak match going on now . Tempers and emotions are running high . I just hope and pray that for his sake , if the need arises , you would not hesitate to get onto a train … ‘ ‘ Papa , what are you talking about . I stayed awake to complain , and I want you to wake him up now , shout at him and tell him to give back everything to me just the way it was . And you’re talking about watching cricket matches and catching trains ? How unfair is that ‘ She stomped away to her bedroom . And then she came back ‘ When I grow up , I’ll never help him . I will get him fired from his office . I will e-mail his boss , tell him what all bad things he did to me , and make sure he has no job ‘ So much for an eraser !!
About a decade ago , I got a phone call while I was in Bangalore . ‘ We can’t make it ra . Both of us are still on the waiting list . But the good news is that both mamma and daddy will be coming , coz their waitlisted tickets have now got confirmed ‘ I was sad , I somehow was hoping against hope that they would be able to come , but unfortunately both my brothers were gonna miss it . I was living hardly 4 hours away and had already got to the city , but my parents had to travel for almost 14 hours by train . My family and I were scheduled to meet another family , who none of us had ever met before . Why don’t you both fly I asked . It would be expensive , and also since the nearest airport was about 6 hours away , theres still no guarantee they’d be able to make it in time .
Being the youngest of three brothers , life wasn’t very easy as a primary school kid . I was always the errand boy in the house . ‘ Can you get me a spoon from the kitchen ?’ ‘ Please get me a chilled bottle of water from the fridge ‘ ‘ Can you find my briefcase son ?’ Dad would constantly ask me to do one odd job or the other . I would always do , but grumpily , cribbing and complaining . You do realise you have two other sons , don’t you daddy . How come you never ask them ?’ He would just smile and say ‘ Sonny , you do realise that you always do what I or mamma ask you to , even if you’re cross or unhappy . Why don’t you do the same happily , so that you would get lots of blessings both from us and from above too . ‘ Blessings ? What blessings daddy ? You just don’t want to tell them both anything so you always bring up this unnecessary talk ‘ I would frequently fume .
And as if that wasn’t enough , my brothers too would ask me to do something or the other for them . Their constant trump card would be ‘ If daddy or momma asked you , you would do right . So quietly do it when we ask you too ‘ But Dad would sort of request , in my anger I always felt my brothers were ordering me around . If playing cricket , I would sometimes have to bat last because ‘ you’re the youngest , you wouldn’t exactly know how to play . Watch us play , learn and then you can get your chance .’ And sometimes , when it was my turn to bat , it would suddenly become ‘too dark’ ‘ Arreyy , can’t you see the light is not enough , try your luck tomorrow .‘ Picking a fight with my brothers wasn’t very difficult , but winning that was . Almost always , I would end up wailing and running to dad or mom .
It usually used to be two against one , and would be no less intense than an Indo-Pak cricket match . Sometimes , all three of us would be three different teams , so you could add Bangladesh to the mix too . Inspired by a Bollywood movie that we watched on a black and white Weston TV , during a fight , instead of chasing my brothers around the bed , I got onto it and jumped in the air towards them , trying to kick each one with each of my feet ! It was an impressive attempt , but I landed straight on the floor , legs wide apart . As I was lying down crying , both of them couldn’t help admire how brave a jump that was , and joked saying if there was ever a cross-bed jumping competition , I would win hands down . I went and told dad ‘ When I’m an adult , I will have nothing to do with either of them . The way they trouble me , I will never forget . Once I start earning , I will never ever see them ‘ Dad would as always smile , and sometimes give me a big hug . But no amount of cajoling could make me change my decision , I had decided , to abandon and cut off all ties with them as soon as I was big enough to live by myself .
As we grew up , one by one we started leaving to college . I had a few friends to play cricket with , but neither of them both was around . EB the eldest , and SA the elder , both had gone to different colleges , different professional streams . Slowly and steadily over the years , I don’t know how and why but the fighting stopped . We were no longer irritating each other , no more Indo-Pak matches , Bangladesh wasn’t even in the equation any more . Towards the end of high school , it was only me dad and mom at home . I wished I could play with my brothers , but they were both gone to their respective hostels . I left home too , for college , but during holidays , we would always catch up . Discuss college . Classes . Batch picnics . Group activities .Friends . Heroines . Movies . Pretty girls . ( This last one was important ) . I got to know some of their friends and vice versa , and those friends I’m still in touch with . A particular dinner in Hyderabad , I specifically remember . While we were waiting for the food to be served , a popular Telugu actress had walked into the restaurant . My brother , trying to get my attention , kicked me from under the table . ‘ It’s ok , you can tell him openly that the heroine AJ is here ‘ my dad said . He had been kicking dad’s leg !!!!!
In college as an undergrad student in the hostel , my roommate PJ would frequently ask me ‘ You know , three brothers , don’t you think it would have been very nice to have atleast one sister . You would have been very close siblings ‘ PJ was very close to his younger sister Mac , they still are . And I would always say ‘ No PJ , I’m quite happy . We used to fight like Tom and Jerry , but now we all get along quite well . I have absolutely no complaints ‘ I could open up to my brothers about my likes and dislikes , my successes and failures . About pretty girls and crushes . And we would always have a nice laugh together . When I got into medical college , which both of them had decided they would not take up as a profession , EB removed his brand new watch and gave it to me . And SA got me a brand new pair of Red Tape shoes , both of which I kept for years , well past their prime , coz to me they were of immense value .
Towards the end of my MBBS days , due to some last minute changes with the starting dates for the junior batch , our internship was extended by nine days and I was almost certainly gonna miss EB’s wedding . But I somehow swapped a few duties , did continuous calls for a couple of days , and managed to get to the wedding venue about 8 hours before it was scheduled to start . But I made it , and that’s all that matters . For SA’s wedding too , I was a Postgraduate trainee , and getting leave wasn’t easy , but I managed to make it . I had to leave almost immediately after the wedding, though . But I made it , and that’s all that matters .
I went to Bangalore cantonment station to pick up mom and dad . They got off the train , but seemed to have a little too much luggage for just two people . That’s when , to my pleasant surprise , I saw both my brothers walk out of the train too . They had managed to somehow get to Bangalore .
As all five of us walked to the station’s exit , SA suddenly dropped his bag and went and hugged some random stranger on the platform . It was one of his college mates , and they hadn’t met ever since they left college . This was pre-whatsapp and snapchat and viber days , so there was no chance of them having known before hand that they would bump into each other . He had unknowingly , come to welcome us . Coz he was the first cousin of the girl that I was hoping to get married to soon . This was the family we were all , as a family , going to see . And as soon as dad saw the old college mates hugging , he pulled me aside ‘ Listen sonny , just because your brother knows her cousin , doesn’t mean everything will fall in place . We still have to get to know the entire family ‘ The meeting went off rather well , and the girl is now my wife , and we’re blessed with three kids , two sons and a daughter , the one who was livid with her brother for having messed up her pencil box . They too have their issues , they become India vs Pakistan , and sometimes Bangladesh gets added to the mix too !
As we went to the flat that had been arranged for us , my father-in-law asked how the journey went . And my dad said ‘ It was fine for me and my wife . But EB and SA had a tough time , as their tickets weren’t confirmed . They spoke to the Ticket Inspector , and travelled the whole night sleeping on the floor . Coz , come what may , they decided they couldn’t miss meeting their youngest brother’s potential future wife and her family ‘ I was almost in tears , they never mentioned a word about how they struggled for their overnight journey . After all our Tom and Jerry and Indo-Pak fights as kids , they still made sure they were there for me .
Now we are all in three different fields , all married and with our own families , living in different states ( at one point in different countries too ) but whenever we get a chance we do always try and meet up , with the families and my mom , coz dad , unfortunately , passed away three years ago. That way my sister-in-laws and nieces too are always very gung-ho about having a family get-together , and that is indeed a blessing . A blessing , I firmly believe , which Dad always talked about . I sincerely hope and pray that my kids , and their kids too , for generations , if and when the need arises , inspite of all the intense Indo-Pak matches going on between them , would not hesitate to get onto a train with unreserved tickets and travel sleeping on the floor . And if someone told me that had I done all the ‘menial’ chores as a primary school kid without grumbling , then my prayers would be answered for generations together , I would definitely not hesitate one bit to go back in time to pick up dad’s briefcase , get a spoon from the kitchen or a bottle of chilled water from the fridge – all without cribbing , without complaining . As a child , my siblings were my rivals , my bitter enemies . But now , I consider it a great blessing to have grown up with them and to have them around along with the families . I have no qualms in saying I’m fortunate to have been so abundantly blessed with so many blessings , like dad always said , ‘ blessings from us , and from above too .‘
