Driving in India – Ayyo , Ayyayyo or I.I.O ?
32 kids . 2 rows of seats . Packed like Sardines . In an Ambassador , which my 5 year old son refers to as a ‘Vintage Car !’ Agreed we were all small and in primary school , but getting well over 2 dozen kids inside that taxi on our daily trips to and from school – I wonder how we used to fit in . I know we have health and safety issues there , but that was how I and my two elder brothers went to school those days . It’s a pity we didn’t have access to smart phones and cameras then , coz you have to see it to believe it . Ayyo ( Oh my ) how do these kids manage , I heard many parents say as they picked their kids up from the taxi .
VR the driver gathered all the kids up in the ground after the final school bell , and off we went . For the next 40 minutes no one inside could move or shift their bottoms . Well , not much option , no place to move actually . The slightly older kids get to sit on the seats, with a slightly smaller kid on their lap , and an even smaller kid on that kids lap . So that’s three rows of kids . And inbetween two well-seated kids, a kid would stand . And in front of the smallest kid sitting on the lap , a kid would be standing . I forgot how many were standing overall ,but this was by and large the usual seating arrangement , both in the front and the back seats.Some would say get the windows down , some would say keep it closed and ultimately the child sitting at the window would have the final decision-making power . No wonder that there was always a fight for the three window seats . To make matters worse , to cut down costs , VR would sometimes run the car on Kerosene , not on Diesel and those were the days everyone would fall asleep as if they’ve been anaesthetized ! Ayyo again , with no AC how could one ask for the windows to be closed ?
It was a usual day . VR went around with his standard head count . There were ‘only’ 28 , four children had not come along to school that day . He was playing a yesteryear telugu movie song in a Cassette player , which used to regularly get stuck and needed one of our pencils to twist it and set it right , something which my 5 year old has never seen in this day of youtube and will probably never understand what a cassette is . Also VR had a unique way of putting a few drops of Kerosene using a sewing machine’s oil bottle into a tubular contraption made from some IV lines that he got from outside a hospital’s dumpyard , that would take the much-needed fuel straight from the dashboard into the engine or the fuel tank I’m not sure . Just then one of the kids exclaimed ‘ Hey look at that guy . Wow !!‘ An enthusiastic acrobat driving towards us on the dual carriageway was showing off his driving skills on the road – maneuvering the motor cycle without holding onto anything . VR was busy trying to add a few drops into the tube with his left hand , the steering held firmly in his right as he wrote him off dismissively – ‘such jokers should never be allowed on the road’ . But all the kids were too absorbed at the display of dare-devilry on the road . As we all eagerly waited to see him drive past us from close quarters , there was a sudden loud thud . And blood on the windshield . All within a split second . That stuntman had lost control , and collided head on into the ambassador . From wow a few seconds ago , some kids cried out in unison ‘ Ayyayyo ‘ while most were just shell-shocked .
That blood-splattering scene, to this day , is very vivid in my memory . I must have been 9 or 10 . I saw the guy in a white dhoti and a light green full-sleeved shirt with the sleeves rolled up upto the elbows , land straight on the windshield , roll back onto the bonnet of the white taxi and fall onto the road . Ayyayyo said VR . There was a crowd around the car . VR pleaded with the onlookers to let him drop off all the kids in the car at their respective homes , and promised to get back asap . All the kids were too shocked to open their mouths , including me and my brothers . But the crowd didn’t budge . It was not VR’s fault at all . The biker was behaving recklessly on the road . That was it , I had made up my mind , then and there , never ever to drive . Driving in India is extremely unsafe , I told myself .
As I went to college , I loved roadtrips but didn’t have it in me to drive . That accident had scarred me for life . I had a valid licence which I got by reversing a car in a straight path for about 100 metres , and for switching off the engine and then restarting without making the car jump . That was all that the RTO officer checked before signing my papers . And of course , there was some under-the-table dealings that my driving school teacher had with the PA of the RTO officer . I asked him ‘ After all that you taught me last couple of weeks , is that all that he would check ?’ ‘ Young man , what’s wrong with you . You’ve got your licence . Now go home . And please recommend me to your friends and colleagues . I will ensure they all get a licence too ‘
‘ Licence fine , but what about driving . I mean driving properly ?
‘ Kya sir , driving properly and all . You just get onto the road As long as you have a valid licence , that’s all that you need . ’.
No , I disagree . I needed much more than that . I needed some courage . Loads of confidence . Strength . Will power . And I needed to know how to actually drive !!! KSP my batchmate and friend taught me all of that . He had a hatchback , and would talk passionately about driving but I didn’t pay attention . Almost a dozen years ago , after that blood-stained windshield I had made up my mind never to drive . A licence was just a legal document . But no , KSP would have none of that . He would still take me along for wonderful roadtrips , all the time emphasizing on how to change the gears , how to look out for idiots on the road, when not to overtake etc etc . Slowly I started to drive . With trepidation at first , but kept getting better and better with each passing day . And all the driving that I learnt was on the same hatchback that belonged to KSP , coz I never had my own car then .
About two and a half decades after the biker rammed into VR’s ‘vintage’ Ambassador taxi , I had to mandatorily drive on the road for a good 40 minutes . But then this time I knew no one would be doing such stupid dare-devil stunts on the road . Coz this was in the UK, and I was taking my driving test . The examiner took me on a certain route , telling me well in advance which turn to take , and also for some time I had to just follow the route shown on the maps/sat nav , and he also made me do a few maoeuvres including parallel parking on a not so busy road . In total contrast to the driving licence I got in India , with hardly a minute of reversing and starting the car . There was a Belisha crossing where a pedestrian did not even look up from her phone and just walked on to the road . But I was anticipating that so didn’t have to do emergency braking . I knew I had done well and would easily clear this . As I was driving back to the Driving test centre to finish the test ,the examiner asked me ‘ Can I ask you something ? I know I shouldn’t be disturbing you while you’re taking a driving test , but I was a driving instructor earlier with a reputed company before I took up this job as a DVLA examiner . Many Indians who learnt driving from me would say they would never drive in India . Why is that ? I mean , it’s just driving . What’s the big deal ‘ ‘ Well officer , have you been to India, ever ? ‘ I asked .
‘No’
‘ I knew your answer . Coz if you had been to India , you would never ask me this question ‘ He didn’t seem satisfied . As we were nearing a junction , I could see a big navy blue Mercedes SUV wait for the sky blue Peugoet 307 hatchback ( that belonged to my driving instructor ) that I was driving to pass by . I knew I had the right of way , as per the rules . The Merc had to wait . And I went past without slowing down or braking . ‘ Officer , if this was India , I would have slowed down or braked or swerved a bit to my right to be doubly sure that the Merc wasn’t coming onto the road . Here I know he would obey the rules . Now that’s the difference . And in India you would have a lot of Ayyo and Ayyayyo moments ‘ As he handed me my mostly-clean evaluation form with just the one minor fault when I drove too close to a kerb , from the look on his face I knew he didn’t understand what I said . How could he possibly know the favourite South-Indian exclamatory expression of sudden surprises or failures . When Mom forgot to switch off the oven , she would go Ayyo and run to the kitchen . When the tuition teacher took class for a little longer than the scheduled time , he would look at his watch and end up saying Ayyo . When SK was run out at a crucial juncture during a cricket match , the whole batting team went Ayyo with their hands on the head .When dad’s friend missed a train , he came back saying Ayyo . And when the biker rammed into the ambassador , VR ended up shouting ‘ Ayyayyo ‘
Driving in India is not an easy job , I agree . There’s accidents waiting to happen at each and every corner . People park their bikes on the road haphazardly . Two-wheelers , autorickshaws , other vehicles and even trucks drive on the wrong side of the road . Some take a sudden turn without even seeing whats coming from the back or the front . Many join the main road from a smaller road without bothering to look even once towards the main road . Some stop their vehicles right in the middle of the road and catch up with their long-lost friend who happens to be driving another vehicle . There’s absolute scarcity of space for them to meet somewhere else, in a much safer place , and catch up isn’t it ? I almost rammed into a two-wheeler with a mom and a small girl hugging her and sitting at the back as I was driving out of a petrol bunk as she came speeding in the wrong way . I honked only to get an angry stare from her , she pointing to the dog that had suddenly come across . I can’t take a lecture for the dog , but she still had no business driving on the wrong side especially with a small kid hanging on to dear life , I thought to myself . She sped away , cursing and swearing , as if it was all my fault .
I could go on and on . As an Orthopaedic surgeon , on a daily basis I see so many patients end up in the hospital with Road Traffic Accidents . Some minor , some major . Does that mean you and I should make a resolution , like I did when I was in primary school , never to drive ? Should that take away the joy and pleasure of driving from you ? To quote KSP my good friend – NO, NEVER ! The roads are full of jokers . The Indian roads give you enough and more chances to say ‘Ooh’ ‘Aah’ ‘Oh no’ ‘ What a buffoon’ , lots of heart-stopping moments and what not . And not to forget enough opportunities to say Ayyo and Ayyayyo . But following an I.I.O strategy or policy , we could minimize the risks . Not only risks that you and I could pose to others , but more importantly also risk that the other jokers on the road could pose to you and me . Always assume and be prepared for a risky move by the others on the road . Before doing anything on the road , ( and this applies to walking on the road too , not just driving ) I think ‘ Am I safe to ‘ or ‘ Is it safe to ‘ or ‘Is it alright to ‘ and I always try and ask myself –
I.I.O to turn – anyone in my way ?
IIO to overtake – is there enough room to go past safely ? On 4 or 6 laned roads , as I change lanes to overtake , is there anything blocking my path , especially while at curves ? Is the lane that I’m changing into clear , or is there a maniac driving towards me like Schumacher (who it is best to allow to go past) . A quick look in the outside mirrors and a super-fast glance over my shoulder , before changing lanes , to eliminate the blind spot .
IIO to brake – take a quick look at the rearview mirror .
IIO to accelerate – is some blue Merc or a two-wheeler waiting to just T-crash into me , inspite of me having the right of way ( a concept which largely doesn’t exist in India ).
IIO to reverse – anyone behind . Any kids running towards the car .
IIO to move –are all the doors closed , are all the passengers seated comfortably inside , is everyone wearing a seat belt ?
IIO to even start the car – Is the car road-worthy ? Everything running well ?
I could go on and on , but I go back to what KSP told me when he taught me driving ‘ In India , you should drive only if you can make up for the faults of the others on the road and still be safe ‘ I would just add on to that by saying follow the IIO strategy – IS IT OKAY strategy .
Thanks to KSP , I now have no fear of driving . He has a much bigger sedan now that he loves driving , as much as I love to take my car out on to the road . I have been fortunate to drive more than 2.6 lakh kilometres ( > 150,000 miles ) in different countries – Uk , France , Netherlands , Belgium and Germany but the bulk of my driving has been in India , followed by the UK . That may not be much , maybe about 16-17000 miles a year on an average , but by and large I don’t drive to work , coz I live in the same campus . It’s all been trips with the family and some with friends including KSP . Some wonderful roadtrips stand out – from Vellore to Japiur ( in KSP’s sedan)
, from Sandown in the Isle of Wight to Fort William in Scotland , after getting onto a ferry ,
a drive to Northern Ireland from East Midlands ,
a trip on the Eurotunnel enroute France ,
from Cornwall to John O groats at the tip of Northern Scotland https://www.google.com/maps/dir/Newquay,+United+Kingdom/John+o’+Groats,+United+Kingdom/@54.1828846,-12.4830871,5z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m14!4m13!1m5!1m1!1s0x486b0c115ab95687:0xc49b1af1e0545263!2m2!1d-5.073719!2d50.415497!1m5!1m1!1s0x489adf22b8be52c3:0x86f8db37f5b5c574!2m2!1d-3.0688997!2d58.6373368!3e0 ,
and a few road trips along the coast to Goa . Not to forget the umpteen trips to meet up with friends and family , which were all totally worth it . And I thank God that so far , touchwood , we haven’t had any major issues on the road , and I sincerely pray and hope that it would continue to be so . To quote the CEAT tyres ads ‘ The roads are full of idiots ‘ but if you and I follow this IIO policy we could make it one idiot less on the road . I’m not saying there aren’t any such jokers on the UK roads but by and large , people obey the rules of the road . Driving there was so smooth . Most people follow traffic rules , roads are absolutely wonderful to drive on , the scenery around is wonderful . Everytime I give someone way and he raises his hand to say thanks or blinks the hazard lights to say he is indeed glad , I feel very good . But on motorways since it’s mostly predictable and there’s no one suddenly coming at you in the wrong direction or from the sides , I would prefer not to drive with the cruise control on , coz I many times felt I was at risk of falling asleep . In India , of late , the roads are very good though we’re still quite far away from the UK standards especially with regards to parking ( many park on the highway too instead of finding a safe place to get completely off the road , and also the concept of a hard shoulder doesn’t exist ) sticking to lanes and observing speed limits on the road and in general , in driving etiquette . If you give someone the way , don’t expect them to raise their hand or put the hazard lights on temporarily . Many places have road works going on with inadequate signboards , and there’s always a risk that a dog or a cow could be in your path . All those need to be accounted for too . The road needs all your attention , all the time . And before hitting the road especially prior to a long road trip , the car needs to have been given all the attention that she deserves . But at the back of your mind , remember that to avoid Ayyayyo scenarios , its good to think of the IIO strategy or any other similar plan , whatever suits you best . Cruise control in india – ah forget it . You don’t need it . There’s too much traffic . You would end up braking sooner than later , unless you’re on Hyderabad’s Outer Ring Road ( beware of the speed cameras especially if you have AP and TS registered cars) that helps you avoid the city on a road trip to Mumbai . Also there’s lesser chance of you feeling sleepy without the cruise- control on, which is a bonus .
VR was not at fault . The biker was upto some crazy stunts and landed up in the hospital . Thankfully his injuries were not life-threatening . VR , in those days , had to shell out a lot of cash for his treatment , I learnt later , even though he was on the correct side of the road, coz in India unfortunately the bigger vehicle is always at fault . Sad but true . Here it was car vs bike . But looking back , had VR not looked away from the road to pour that few drops of kerosene into that tubular contraption of his , and had he had both his hands firmly on the steering wheel with his eyes focused on the road , he may have , maybe just about , have had an extra second to veer away from the biker . I still blame the biker , not VR for that accident which almost made me decide never to sit behind a wheel , but VR could have been more vigilant . He probably never thought of the IIO strategy , or maybe he never had a friend like KSP to tell him that ‘In India , you should drive only if you can make up for the faults of the others on the road and still be safe ‘
I’m sure I’ve bored you enough with Ayyo’s and Ayyayyo’s , tips and tricks and strategies . I’m not sure if my 5 year old who is mesmerized everytime he sees a ‘vintage’ Ambassador car would be as excited and passionate about driving . Also I’m not sure if the driving etiquette in india would change by the time he is old enough to drive a car on his own . In all probability , it wont . It may only get worse unless there’s very strict rules and laws that are enforced . Or unless everyone on the road decides to drive sensibly and not be in a mad rush , which is again very difficult to believe would happen . If he wants to drive but has some sort of a fear , I hope he will find a friend like KSP who would not allow him to go into a shell . As for me , after I finish writing this I can go home walking but whenever I need to go to the car next for a road-trip which I’m sure is very much around the corner , I’m gonna be thankful to KSP as I always am . And I will remind myself to look all around – at the tyres , around the parking lot , the surroundings and ask myself a series of questions as I start the car and drive to my destination , all along the way , and till I park the car safely and even when I get out of the car after parking and before opening the door ‘ Driving in India – I.I.O ? ‘