Bucket Lists , Dormitories and Sleepslayers

‘Papa, why is Rome actually called Rome ‘ was a question that I wasn’t at all prepared to answer at 6am on a Saturday , that too while I was actually on a holiday in Rome , with my family . Waking up in time for school during school days is a big problem for J , while on weekends he promptly wakes up early , much to my irritation . ‘Sonny J , why don’t you spare me on a weekend atleast . Can I please not be disturbed while asleep . Rome has long been on my bucket list which I’ve finally managed to tick off , but you had to come and disturb me now .’ Pat came the question . ‘ What does bucket list mean ? ‘ J , I wish I could send you to …’ I managed to not complete the statement . When you’re visiting family or friends or go out on a vacation together as a group , there are some who wake up early and go about talking loudly as if the whole world’s fully wide awake . Moments of intrusion into my precious sleep , how terribly i hated those . As a kid , and even now I wish I could tie up all those relatives as a bunch and send them to a far away land . Where I’m not sure , but somewhere far away from me . But these combined holidays happen once in a while . With J , its every weekend . I can’t really send my own son off to a far away land can I , especially when he was hardly six. The question was repeated “ What does bucket list mean papa ? ” ‘ J seemed to be in no mood to give up , and I was too groggy to explain to him while the sun wasn’t even out in the Italian capital .

About two and a half decades ago , I only knew of one bucket list . And it wasn’t anywhere close to its real meaning of a list of things that someone wishes to do/experience/achieve within a certain time frame . I was studying in a residential college , living in a 4-storeyed apartment with no lift which had been converted into a hostel for teenage boys . I had finished my tenth standard , and the next two years would be spent in this college , where the coaching was aimed at getting us all into a medical college . A strict schedule had to be followed . The campus where the classes were held was about half a mile away, and we had to get there by 5am , walking . There would be two hours of mandatory study time , where each of us would be required to study , before getting a break for breakfast at 7 am , after which regular classes and lectures would start . Interestingly , the gates would be closed at 5am sharp and more importantly it was during this morning study hour that our attendance would be manually marked by the incharge . Mornings was always a pain . People would be running for the study hour with toothpaste and toothbrush in their pockets . Some sleepy eyed souls would even trip and fall on their way to the study hour . Some would get into the campus , go to their respective classroms and immediately doze off . That was officially not allowed , meaning the study hour was meant for studying , but some of us couldn’t help it I guess . Some latecomers would try climbing over the back wall and so a fence had to be put in place .

My dormitory had ten of us staying together . All our suitcases , trunks , bags and belongings like buckets and mugs had to have our names written with a permanent marker to prevent confusion . A big problem with the dorm though – it had just one bathroom ! I and a friend were the early to bed , early to rise types so it was never a problem for us . The other eight would all stay awake late , and wake up ‘late’ too . And as soon as they woke up , there would be a mad rush to get their buckets in the queue outside the bathroom door . For us in the dorm , this was the bucket list . And you were not allowed to place your bucket before going to bed , it had to be only after waking up . The bathroom would be used in the order of the buckets lined up , by their respective owners . You could trade your order in the list for a little longer snooze , but rule was max two swaps per person per day . Of course there would be arguments and counter-arguments , some would cunningly try and move their buckets forward in the line before hitting the bed again for a short snooze . After a while , we had collectively decided that the bucket list should be sacro-sanct , no tampering with the order . Or else you’d risk going in last to the loo . And we all learnt to respect it .

But we also learnt one more thing – to respect each other’s sleeping times and patterns . I would sleep early , and could sleep well even if the lights were on and people around were chatting . Some would sleep late, wake up ‘late’ too . Almost invariably the lights would be on throughout the night coz someone or the other would be up . I hardly ever had to get into the bucket list , and when I went to the loo early in the morning not even one bucket would be lined up outside the door . In addition to not tampering with the bucket list , we also learnt not to disturb someone who was asleep . That would be an unpardonable sin . Sleep – each and every minute of it – was precious . If someone was found sleeping beyond 4.52am which was our unwritten definition of waking up ‘late’ , he would be woken up with a mug of cold water splashed on the face , coz it took 6-7 mins to get to the class rooms for the morning study hour. That was allowed , coz you wouldn’t want any of your roommates ( or maybe I should say dorm-mates) risk being left waiting outside a closed gate . Each of the dorms had their own identity , and if all ten got in time for the study hour without huffing and puffing , you had already scored a goal against your rivals !

The students mess was about another half a mile away , with the dorm the classrooms and the mess forming somewhat of an equilateral triangle . We were told that the management was trying to build a new campus a little away , so that everything could be housed together . But for now , only the girls had an exclusive campus for themselves . We were always instructed to watch the traffic and walk carefully on the road as we moved between the three places . The majority of the day would be spent in the classrooms , with three breaks for meals , and an additional tea break in the evening . The apartments housing the dormitories too had a closing time . Post-dinner , you walk back to the class rooms , spend sometime studying in the night study hour and at 10pm when the long bell rang , walk back to the dorm . Can’t really go anywhere else as the apartment gates would be closed at 10.15pm .

The post-morning study hour walk for breakfast at the students mess was something we all looked forward to . Not for the breakfast , but there was a pretty girl , a day-scholar at the girls campus who would ride her black scooter to the college around the same time. This girl was the only girl we would get to see driving towards the girls campus as most of the girls were residential students , and their campus was completely out of bounds for the boys ! We were warned that any boy found walking away from the mess ( the girls campus was that way ) instead of towards the classrooms would be called for an explanation . As we walked in a long file , whoever spotted her first and said out loud the colour of her dress was the hero of the day . None of us knew her name , the codename was KH . The breakfast had a mundane routine . So if whats on the menu is not something that you liked, you could skip but as far as I can remember , nobody skipped . I think it was because of not wanting to miss out on KH!! But on Sundays , though , the breakfast was particularly bad .

Looking back I don’t know how I managed to survive in that environment for 2 years . But it taught us one thing – to organize ourselves . All of us have now become doctors , having graduated from different parts of the country , and are now working in different parts of the world . I’m still in touch with a few of my friends , though not every one of them .

Now as a doctor when I go on rounds to see patients , I find it extremely difficult to wake up patients who are fast asleep . For me , each and every minute of their sleep is precious . I’d rather come back after a while to see if they’re awake , but some of my colleagues don’t agree with me coz if work gets busy coming back to that particular patient may not be possible . It still hurts , when a patient who’s fast asleep is rudely or even politely jolted out of his sleep .

Thanks to my youngest , I now had a new addition to my bucket list – ‘ to be able to sleep through undisturbed on a Saturday morning ‘. I was diagnosed with an illness few months ago , requiring to be isolated from the family . The results came in on a weekday and I had to go in to the hospital , as per guidelines . As I was leaving , J came running and asked ‘ Why are you going alone papa ‘ And I promptly replied ‘ because I want to sleep well on Saturday , without being disturbed early in the morning at 6AM . No more sleepslayers troubling papa on a weekend‘ He just smiled . My wife and kids would call me regularly and J’s constant question would be ‘ Did you get to sleep late papa ‘ and unfortunately my answer was always no . At 5.30AM sharp everyday the nursing staff would wake me up to check my temperature and vital signs . I pleaded with them to let me sleep , but the standard answer was ‘ Sorry sir , we can’t handover to the dayteam without having checked on you . We need to handover all patients’ details before we finish our shift at 7am . I know it maybe annoying for the patients but we cant help it . Unless we start early , we wont be able to give a proper report and … ‘ ” But I’m fully fine . I’m here only for the mandatory isolation . That’s all . If there’s any trouble , I can call you all immediately .. ‘ ‘Sorry Sir,’ she cut me off . ‘ These are the rules that we have to follow . You’ll have to bear with us ‘ But aren’t rules meant to be broken ?’ ” No sir , rules are rules ” She stomped out of the room . I knew going to the hospital was of no use . I would still be disturbed on a weekend morning , maybe not by my 5 year old but one of the nurses who had to follow rules . I went to bed that Friday night knowing fully well that my answer to J’s question the next day would still be a resounding NO !

Morning Sir , looks like you had a good sleep the nurse said . I groggily opened my eyes and saw the clock . I was astonished . ‘ But don’t you guys usually wake everyone up at 5.30 to check their pulse ? How come today .. ‘ ‘ Oh sorry sir . Please let me apologize on behalf of the staff . The nurse who was supposed to check on you was roped in here as a last minute replacement as two of our colleagues had called in sick . She came to check on you but then …’ ‘ Can i have the details of the nurse please . I need to speak to her. It’s urgent ‘ ‘ Sorry sir, she’s finished her shift and gone , and she probably will not be coming back to this ward ever again ‘ ‘ Can I have the feedback/complaints register please ? I mean , rules have been broken and something should be done about it isn’t it ‘ Her face changed , she ran out of the room and came back with the ward-incharge nurse SH . ‘ You know doc, there has been a small problem last night ‘ ‘ I just want to know who was on duty here last night ‘ ‘ It was one of our colleagues from a different ward ‘ ‘ You know she was supposed to be off , but since two of our colleagues called in sick , she was up the whole night managing patients that are usually handled by two of us . Please try to understand her situation ‘ I realised SH was in cover-up mode and wasn’t going to give me details , so I put my foot down and asked for the complaints book . I also wanted to know what was written in the handing over report .

The night report said ‘ Patient was fast asleep . Hence did not wake him up . He was sleeping comfortably , breathing normally ‘ I firmly told the ward incharge “Look , either I get to speak to her now , or you get me the complaint book ‘ ‘ Doc , what exactly is it that you wanna say to her ‘ ‘ There are two things that I wanna do – I wanna tell her something and I wanna ask her something ‘ Reluctantly , she tried calling but we couldn’t get through . The phone was switched off . She went to look for the complaint book .

Thanks to a last-minute-replacement nurse , I knew I could gladly say ‘Yes’ to J whenever he called me next . I was woken up only past 9 AM that day , and after a long long gap got to sleep uninterrupted on a saturday morning . I was so thrilled , so happy . My stay in the hospital wasn’t a waste . But then rules have been broken , how could I ignore it ? I know I can’t do it with my friends and relatives , but if needed I can send J to live in a hostel , preferably one with a dormitory with a few dorm-mates , just so that he ceases to be a sleep-slayer as he grows up . And that was my unfinished statement that morning in Rome ‘ I wish I could send you to .. a hostel , to a dormitory ‘

KH’s name I still don’t know , none of us managed to figure that out . And she was codenamed KH because the scooter she rode was a Kinetic Honda , which has now been phased out . It was a good scooter , thats what I learnt from many of my uncles and aunts . And Sundays breakfast was not particularly bad , but the walk to the mess was uninspiring , coz the day-scholars would not need to attend class on sundays , which meant none of us could see KH drive by !!

Actually I never really wanted the complaint book . But I asked SH if she could pass on a message . She agreed . ‘I know you wanted to say something and ask something .Go ahead ‘

I wanted to tell her ‘ Thank you very much . Thanks to you , atleast one saturday I did not have a sleep slayer rudely disturbing me ‘ I told SH with a smile on my face .

‘Oh you’re so sweet . Done . I will let her know . And what was it that you wanted to ask her ?’

With an even wider grin I asked ‘ While in college , did you live , atleast for a short while , in a dormitory ? ‘